Parent Essay: It All Happens in the Grocery Store.

When you have a special needs child, (or in our case, special needs children) often times you get messages from the “Universe”.  Life is so chaotic and crazy that you just can’t be bothered to stop and listen to people anymore!  You can’t handle the things that regular people have to say, so you just listen for the Universe to speak to you.  It’s hard to find people with whom you have things in common anymore.  In our case, our oldest son was born with a very rare genetic syndrome, Joubert’s Syndrome.  When he was 6, we adopted two brothers, one was born addicted to Meth, and the other was a very unattached child moved to 6 different homes before the age of 2!  So as you can imagine, it has always felt like we could identify with the mysterious voice of the Universe more than regular people.  You think to yourself, “No one understands what my family is going through, so I’ll just put up the “Cone of Silence” and move on.”  Somehow, the voice of the Universe still gets through the blinders and earmuffs you’re wearing, and you begin to get messages to help you move through the day.  If I really be patient and quiet, I usually get the guidance, insight and offbeat humor that I desperately need!!!  The best message I ever received was just a few months ago and laced with raw humor!

I had dared to take my 3 boys to the grocery store once again….that’s the definition of insanity!  Remember the old story of walking down the same street and falling in the same hole over and over again as being the definition of insanity?  Walking in a grocery store over and over again with my 3 boys is insanity!  So against my better judgment, yet with a need for food; I decided to take all 3 boys in.  I gave the boys stern warnings about not running off, not hanging off the cart, and not touching things.  I dared to presume we would have a successful visit because I buckled David (aka/Evel Knievel) into the cart.  I knew I was safe as long as he was in maximum security “lock down”.  Off we proceeded into the wild green grocery yonder.  I stopped to talk to the Pharmacist for literally 30 seconds and turned back around to discover David was out of the cart and running down the aisle!!!  I burned holes in him with my laser red eyes as I yelled out his name!  I felt like the Terminator!  “Get back over here David!”  He marched back with head hung low, sad that his whole plan to rule the candy aisle had been foiled!!  Poor kid, but happy me because I averted a crisis!!  Thank Goodness!  We arrived back home safely and everyone was in one piece; I however, was once again wearing a sweaty, pitted-out shirt from the stress of the usual grocery store torture!  Ugh!!  I had each boy take a grocery bag inside the house, and as they marched with their bags like little soldiers, I noticed something unfamiliar through one of the bags.   I started to feel hot and prickly as I wondered if we inadvertently stole something.  I peered around my corner to see if the Grocery Security Police had followed me home.  We quickly got inside the house and I opened the bag.  I was stunned when I saw the unfamiliar stow away!  It wasn’t toys, it wasn’t candy….wait for it….it was STRESS B COMPLEX VITAMINS!!!!!!  This is a TRUE STORY!!!  STRESS B COMPLEX VITAMINS!!!!!  I quickly snatched my receipt out of my purse to see that yes, I had actually bought them too and didn’t even realize it!!!   I have always felt that the stress of the grocery store is like an out-of-body experience…now I have proof!!  In the few seconds that David slipped out of the cart, he had “5-fingered” the bottle of vitamins and slam dunked them in the basket with skill that would make Michael Jordan proud!  I can only imagine the look he must of given the checker (though I’m thinking now, she must of thought to herself when she saw the vitamins ,”so that’s how she manages these 3 crazy animals!”) a look of,”Pleeeassse don’t ask if these are ours…my MOM NEEDS THESE…RUN THEM THROUGH NO QUESTIONS ASKED!”  So out of all things my child could have slipped in the cart.… STRESS VITAMINS FOR MOMMY!  If you don’t think that’s some divine message from the Universe, you are not alive!

So my point is that I have tried to explain our situation to people over the years and they sometimes “glaze over” in confusion and disbelief, especially when I try to explain Derek’s rare syndrome!  So you just have to be patient and soon enough, you’ll get back to regular relationships and communication with other typical parents again.  After a while, you learn not to take things so seriously and sometimes you can actually muster up some humor about the whole situation.  But until you do, you might as well just talk to yourself and let the Universe answer back!  Me and the Universe have a pretty good relationship now!  I think we understand each other….I don’t ask the impossible anymore (ie: “Why me?”) and the Universe tries to entertain me!

By Kelly Seymour